It's been 2 months.... Long post

Today marks 2 months since our precious baby went to live with Jesus. I guess with all the things that were going on last month, the 25th didn't really stand out but this past week, today has been on my mind. Two months that seem like 10 years. Regrets. Grief. Sadness. Peacefulness. Good days. Bad days. Tears. Smiles.
While Bryson was in the NICU, everyone kept referring to life in the NICU as a rollercoaster. That rollercoaster continues. We are so thankful for the many people who have helped us to get to this day. We are so thankful for the mighty mighty presence of God in our life. He knew years ago what He would do to help us get through this day. Let me tell you about it.

About six weeks ago, I happened upon a blog titled( To Write Their Names In The Sand ). It's by a lady, Carly, who lives in Australia. In memory of her child, Christian, she began writing angel baby names in the sand for grieving parents, taking a picture of it and posting them on the blog. Due to the overwhelming requests, they only open the site for request occasionally so it took me a while to send Bryson's information in. Maybe 3 weeks ago, I got it sent in. I checked back everyday. Not there yet. She's pregnant again, 31 weeks I believe so she related on the site that writing the names had slowed due to her size. I continued to look daily. About a week and half ago, she posted that her living daughter had broken her arm and she wouldn't be able to write names for a few days. I kept checking everyday. Well last night, I couldn't sleep! I usually never make it past 10pm. But last night, well this morning, around 12:30 I was reading some blogs are remembered that I hadn't checked it. Finally, Bryson's precious name was posted, written in the sand of an Australian beach. It's beautiful! God saved that for me... for a day he knew I was dreading.. to help me through it. I'm waiting on the picture to be emailed to me as you can not copy it from her blog. But in the meantime, you can go see  here.( Bryson's Name In The Sand )Thank you Carly for this wonderful ministry! It's hard to explain, but knowing someone took the time to do this just for our Bryson is special. (According to the site, each request IS written, she don't use the same Bryson each time it's requested)

THEN.....................................
Today, at church, during worship, we sang( How Great is Our God by Chris Tomlin. )I love me some Chris Tomlin but I'll tell you, Jimmy (our worship leader) and the BBC praise & worship team rocks this song even better! :-)  I have always loved this song, which is why I sang it to Bryson several times during his precious 13 days here. I purchased the CD a couple of days after he passed away and I love listening to it... most of all for the worship in it, but also for the memories of those days of singing it to my baby, and how his eyes would open wider when I would say Jesus. So today, while praising God for his mightiness and grace......... God let Bryson speak to me. Oh My!!!! What an awesome awesome, did I say awesome, experience! Not audibly, I didn't hear Bryson, but I heard and felt Bryson. For those of you know have a personal relationship with Jesus, you understand that. While singing.. "You are the name above all names, you are worthy of all praise, my heart will sing how great is our God. How great is our God, sing with me, how great is our God, all will see how great, how great is our God", with hands lifted high, I felt Bryson say, with excitement, "Mommy, He IS GREAT!" I, of course was stunned, amazed, tearful, grateful, blessed and I was then, gently reminded that my baby boy KNOWS first hand how great God is. I know God, I love God, I feel God, I thank God, but baby Bryson sees God! He feels God! Of course, I knew that already but in my sorrow, I forget it sometimes. God reminded me... today.. on the day I have dreaded for a few weeks... that our God IS GREAT!  Thank you God for loving me! Thank you for comforting me! Thank you for that precious baby I fasted and prayed for! Thank you for those 13 days! You are so great! You are so amazing! All will, someday see how great, how great is our God!!! I pray that you, yes you who are reading this,  already know how great and mighty our God is! If you don't, please don't pass up this amazing relationship! He loves YOU!