Sunny Sundays

Corporate worship + God's presence + beautiful sunshine + off work + rest = Sunny Sundays!

I know I know, I haven't posted in a while. Well, other than the copy of the NICU FAQ's that came from another site, which is very important in my opinion.

Honestly, I've had lots to say and lots of emotions but I've been wrestling satan, who's a liar by the way! he has this way with giving me crazy thoughts, making me doubt myself, my emotions and the people in my life. Absolutely disgusting that I would give in to his lies, but because I wanted this blog to be the REAL life story of our life, I'll admit, I did let some of the stinkin' lies get to me. Because they are lies, I don't feel the need to include all of them. But I do want to address some that has kept me from sharing my emotions on here and some that many of you may feel....so that maybe you can move past the lies too!

Lie #1:
"When you share you're feelings, people just think you want sympathy. They just comment because they feel obligated to." This lie from satan trickled over into posting pictures, videos, facebook status'... everything. I don't post because I want sympathy, I don't post because I want everyone to remember my suffering, I don't post to get comments, I DO post because I love Bryson. No he's not living on earth anymore, but he is living. He is my child. It's really no different that everyone else posting pictures of carving pumpkins with their child(ren), taking their child(ren) to the fair, milestone pictures.. I love seeing the pictures of other families and their adventures in life. Although Bryson isn't with me, he is still a huge part of my life. So satan, you can shut up with that lie!!!

Lie #2:
"If ______ really cared, they would still be calling you or coming to see you... this has been one of the worst things you'll go through and they aren't there for you". LIE! Now it is true that some people I never expected to be a comfort to us, have been and a few that I thought would, haven't. satan has used this as a stumbling block for me. God has revealed to me that calling me and coming to see me are far from the most important things they can do for me. Heck, I'm not even a fan of talking on the phone and usually panic when someone pulls in the drive way. The most important thing that anyone could do for me is pray! God is the only one who can comfort my heart.... I try and remind myself that just because my life has taken a huge blow, it don't stop life, for me or for anyone else. Also, people don't know what to say. It's uncomfortable to them. They are afraid they'll say something that makes me cry. Some have realized just hugging me makes me cry. But that's ok... I don't mind crying. It actually feels good sometimes. But anyway, hush with that jabber satan , you're a liar!

Lie #3
"You have nothing to look forward to, your life is hopeless". I can only combat that with one sentence... and I thank God for this sentence .. Ecclesiastes 9:4 Anyone who is among the living has HOPE!

So in all of this, please know that although my post, pictures, status updates, videos may seem depressing to you and you think I am in a deep dark depression.... this is my way of healing, this is my life now, this is my son and I love him. I have accepted the journey God has laid out of me. I am ok. Am I healed? I'm not sure I'll ever be. This has changed me, I'll never be the same person I used to be! We still need your prayers and appreciate the time you take to lift us up to God. His presence is our life is all that gets us through each day.